Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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