So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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