So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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