it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
im six kinds of drunk right now
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
