just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
