at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm really busy with my period
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