she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
they call him Oral-B. enough said
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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