Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
