hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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