walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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