Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
