I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
