at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
