my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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