I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I need moral support for this bender
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
