hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
