Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
