All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
