the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
