So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
