I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
