dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
