i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
