can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
