Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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