I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize