I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize