is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
