A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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