I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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