So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
