So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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