But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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