he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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