Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
