I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
