I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
