a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
