Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
