At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Randomize
