I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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