**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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