I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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