If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize