ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
