I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
