Your tits are I can't wait for
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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