she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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