Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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