Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
