Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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