Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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