kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
