I heard we made out
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
