i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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