matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
whose parrot is this?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
