I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
