So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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