O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
