just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
